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Here at TrailBrothers, we want to make sure that folks everywhere have equal opportunities to get completely annihilated in MUT running, but sadly, some races are simply just not that tough. We decided to create our new Trail Brothers Stamp of Approval so that when you sign up for your next race, you know good and well that it will be just as much a sufferfest as that one your training partner did last year. Check out our criteria below:
1.) Must be a real kick to the nuts.
Not just any kick, but a doubled-over-might-throw-up kind of kick. Expect at least a week to walk right again. We will rate the severity with a 1-3 scale of nuts. 🥜--🥜🥜🥜
2.) Must cause people to cry on side of trail in embarrassment and failure. Stragglers will be left to fend for themselves.
3.) Must have beer or barbecue at the finish. Nothing you'll be able to consume of course, because you will be far too nauseous from the pain. Vegan options are not necessary.
4.) Tampons at the aid stations. Great for our female friends, and also for you in case you feel like being a little bitch and snagging a DNF.
5.) Must not allow poles unless it's over 25k of gain. The legs feed the wolf, boys. The legs feed the wolf.
We will begin adding races to our Trail Brothers Approved list soon. We hope this will help you feel safe and comfortable in knowing that your race of choice is the worst decision possible.
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